Remember who is watching you.
You have a little shadow. She or he feeds off your emotions. They repeat after you both verbally and emotionally.
When Grace has an ultrasound to determine if she needs surgery for her kidneys, which often get swollen, I have to become her rock. She’ll cry and cry because she doesn’t want to sit still, but I can’t cry with her.
When Grace has yet another ear infection or pink eye because she doesn’t have tear ducts and her cleft palate causes excess fluid build up in her ears, I have to do what I can to keep her comfortable. I can’t take away the pain as she wakes up in the middle of the night from the pressure in her head.
When Grace has a surgery, I have to distract her with bubbles and videos and games as we wait for her doctors to wheel her away. I can’t let out my tears as they take her away on her roll away bed. She can’t know what is about to happen, and I can’t even see how she really is when they take her in the operating room. I’ve done this four times already. Each time doesn’t get easier, and it doesn’t matter how “small” the procedure is, it still breaks me up inside.
When a child avoids my child at the playground or loudly asks their parents why that baby only has two fingers or “what’s wrong with her hands,” I can’t let my true feelings come through. Though I want to snap every time that there is nothing wrong with her, I have to keep in mind that I can be the change for this child. I can teach them kindness and respond with real answers that will teach them that some kids are different, but it doesn’t mean anything is wrong with them.
Every kid is watching. What do you want to teach them? I’m trying to keep my beautiful, perfect little girl humble and kind. She’ll always be perfect to us. That’s all that matters.
If I think that, I know she’s watching and will think it too.
Love, Veronica & Grace